Part 127: Waitress Minigame, Hot Springs Wrap-up

Today, we have a costume for every fetish, or something along those lines. We're going to tackle the waitress minigame. It's bad.



To start it, we have to go over here, into Dahngrest's western bar. We've been here a few times before getting a new guild quest.



Yeah, I guess ya could say that.
Hey, the Don worked with this tavern, didn't he?
Hmmm? No, not exactly. He just came here often to drink.
Maybe this was his safe haven... Where he could relax...
Exactly. We always worked hard, so the Don would have a place to take his mind off of things!
Keep up the good work. If there's anything we can do to help, let us know!



You don't waste any time.
To tell the truth, the girl who used to help us around the tavern set off on an excavation trip or some such. That leaves us in a tight spot--we're short on help. I don't know when that girl's coming back, either.
So ya want us to take her place an' help ya with yer customers?
Right. It would only be a temp job, so I wouldn't be able to hire you officially.
No, that's fine. We don't want to become official employees.
Oh, I see. Too bad. Anyway, it's hard work, so I'd be paying you, as well.
Hey, Gald is Gald. Might as well, eh?
Looks like the Old Man is his usual money-grubbing self...
I only need one person to help. Feel free to choose whoever you like.



Yuri, you're not going to help?
A rude waiter like Yuri'd be bad fer business. The customers would take off in no time.
You've got a point, old man.
Thanks, I appreciate the help.



The character selection here is effectively a difficulty selection. Estelle is easiest, then Karol, Judith, Rita, and Raven is the hardest. Let's start off with Estelle to introduce this game -- to get all costumes we have to do all of them anyway.



So the way this works: The room fills up with a few people, more on higher difficulties.



At some point, someone will open a speech bubble, indicating they want something, so you go talk to him or her.



Now here's the fun part. The customer tells you, in the slowest way possible, what he or she wants.





You memorize that or write it down or something, then go over to the counter.



Select the stuff you need in the worst interface possible: A increments, X confirms, Y resets the entire page back to 0. There is no way to decrement.



Then go back to the customer.



Repeat that for every customer in the room.



All right, then feel free to come by and help whenever you can!


Now, typical orders aren't just one item, they're multiple. A standard order (on low difficulty, mind!) may look like this:










Yes, they can redact the previous order. It's as tedious as it looks.

Every character has to play this game for three levels, with escalating difficulty. For each level you complete, you get some money, ranging from next to nothing on Estelle 1 to several hundred Gald on Raven 3. If you mess up an order, your pay gets docked. I believe that if you mess up enough you fail and have to retry, but I'm actually not sure about that part.

Customers also get angry when you take 'too long' (several seconds) to fetch their order. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to enter most orders fast enough to not make customers angry, so this mechanic is completely ignorable. You might get more money if you actually somehow make the time limit, I don't know.

Clearing each character's three levels gives you a short scene, a costume, and a skit to go along with the costume.



Really? Maybe it's because I like working with other people so much.
It sounds like your good breeding is showing through.
Oh, really? That ought to attract customers, too. We don't have many people of proper upbringing around these parts.
I don't think I did anything special...
Your "nothing special" is different from ours, Estelle.
Do you think you'll come and help again?
Y-yes, if I could help...
Thank you. Here, take this. It's my best attempt at a uniform for you.
Hey, not bad. Why not try it on right now?
Sure!



It looks great on you. Please come back and help again soon.




Skit: So Cute / Baldurdash
Oh, Estelle, you look so cute!
R-really? I'm glad... I was worried these clothes wouldn't look good on me...
They seem kind of old-fashioned.
That's what makes them cute!
...Ah, I wasn't talking about myself!
No, it's okay.
I was just saying that the clothes are cute, not me...
You don't need to be so modest!
...You're so cute.



After clearing any character, attempting to start another triggers this scene:







That's right. I have some free time again, so I thought I'd come and help out. What's this I hear about new uniformed employees helping you with work around here?!
Calm down, Mimi. I didn't know when you'd come back, so I was just getting them to help out until you did.
It's not like we've been trying to take your job or anything. You don't have to get so mad.
There's no need to argue, right? Let's be friends!



Once that girl gets going, she's deaf to reason...
All right? Okay, then we'll have a competition to see who's the better server! Put on your uniforms!


As far as I can tell, this changes absolutely nothing about how the game plays. If you cancel out of the minigame while this is in progress, you get this though:



...But reentering the minigame and clearing it acts as if you had just won on the first try anyway.





This competition doesn't really mean anything, anyway.
That's right. It doesn't matter to the customers, either.
I feel so pathetic...
But you know, it's not like we're working here every day.
Right. They're really just here to help out when we need it. Nothing else.
But...we can't both be working for you at the same time, can we?
That's not a problem. We've had more customers recently, so we have a bit more money to spare for extra staff.
So you mean I can work here?
Right. From now on, you'll be working together with them.
I understand. I'll do my best! I'm sorry. I guess I got a little prideful back there. I hope you won't hold it against me.
Don't worry about it, missy! I can't wait ta work next ta a pretty little thing like yerself!




Anyway. Next character: Karol.



In addition to slightly longer and higher numbered orders and slightly more customers, your menu increases from 5 to 10 orderable items.



As a sidenote, what's up with the font here, why is it monospaced? It does the same thing in Nam Cobanda's chip exchange and I have no idea why.






Phew! I worked my butt off!
Good job, Karol.
You sure do work hard for a kid!
For a kid? What's that supposed to mean?
Karol, it was a compliment.
Please come back and help out again sometime. I've even made a special uniform for you.
Really? Sweet! Thank you! I'll try it on right now.



...I look like a lunchlady.
There's nothing cuter than a kid wearing an apron!




Skit: Making Nice with the Customers
Waiting tables is more fun than I thought it'd be!
It is, isn't it?
You can talk with all sorts of people, and expand your perspective on the world, too.
You all must be so smart.
How come I'm the only one who gets yelled at for messing up orders?
Oh, that must be because they like you so much.
Ya, haven't ya ever heard that the greatest hate springs from the greatest love?
What sort of crappy love is that...?
Forgetting Karol for the moment, why don't you ever wait tables, Yuri?
Huh? It's annoying. I don't wanna do it.
Sounds like ya just don't know the meanin' of fun, kid!
You'd turn down a chance ta make nice with a bunch of cute female customers?
Who wants to get friendly with an old pervert, anyway?!

I'm with Yuri. It's very annoying.


Skit: Order Up, Karol!
All right, time to serve up some orders!
"Serve up some orders"...?
Ah... It's just that wearing this puts me in the mood to be serving customers...
Ya know, those clothes make ya look a little more macho than usual, kid.
Really? Heh...
You think so...?
...So I guess that means Karol'll be cookin' dinner tonight!
Wait, you were supposed to cook tonight, Raven! Hold on! I mean... Hey?!
You heard the man, Karol.




Judith's difficulty keeps the menu the same as Karol's, but ups the numbers to somewhat ridiculous levels.



I mean, seriously?






Oh really? I was just acting the way I normally do.
It must be because you're always so relaxed.
You're great. Really, just great. How'd you like to work here?
Sorry, I'll pass. I've got things I need to do. I don't mind helping every now and then, though.
Aw, rejected... Oh well, I thought you might say that. But since you said you don't mind helping on occasion, I'd like to give you this uniform.
Oh, thank you! I'll try it on right now.



Wow, it looks great. Your body compliments the outfit quite nicely.
It's a little tight in the chest area...
It looks like your curves were even beyond what I imagined. I'm a little jealous...




Skit: Now THAT's Service!
Well? What do you think?
Whooooaa...
And just what are you starin' at...?
Uh... I was just thinking that if Judith was a waitress somewhere, I'd go there every single day!
Ah, Karol, taken by the charms of an older woman... 'Course, I'd do the same thing!
Heh heh. Thanks guys.
I wonder if I should show a little more, you know...?
Oh yes! Oh god, yes!
Judith, I think that's enough... I can't stand seeing Raven like this for much longer...


Rita's level adds five more menu items while keeping the numbers similar to Judith's.







This also feels like it pops up more often. Sigh.




Amazing! You handled so many customers with such finesse...
Well, she is a genius mage, after all.
I could really use some employees who know how to go with the flow... How about you work for me full-time?
You've gotta be joking. I'll pass.
Oh, really? Well, please let me know if you change your mind.
Rita, that's great! Now you have a place to go if that whole blastia research thing doesn't work out.
I'd like you to come and help out again sometime, so I've made you a uniform. Please wear it, won't you?
Right now?
Sure, throw it on and see how it fits.



What do you mean I'll be a hit?!
A hit with the customers, of course. You look purrrrfect. I can't wait to see you working in that outfit!



Eh? Did you say something?
Who, meeee...ow?
Huh?
I, uh, didn't say anything...



Yeah, I dunno either. Japan.


Skit: It's All about the Ears
Wow, Rita! You look different than you usually do. You look cute...
...Are you saying I normally don't look cute...?
N-no, that's not what I meant...
Well, it's not like I care anyway.
Hey, Yuri, you think she looks cute, right? Don't you?
Huh?
Yeah... I like those cat ears, I guess.
Just the ears...?
Oh, come on, Yuri, why are you being so shy? Your face is turning red!
...The ears are the problem.
What is that suppposed to mean?


And Raven's difficulty is completely insane.



I mean look at this bullshit:









At least the pay is good, I guess?






Good job. You've helped me out quite a bit.
What else wouldja expect? I am the Great Raven, after all.
That was the first time I've seen you do any serious work in a long time.
Whaddaya mean? I'm always serious about working!
Well, with as many customers as we get, there's not really any time to slack off, anyway.
Yeah, he didn't have any time to goof off or flirt with any cute girls.
Phew, I'm beat!



Eh? For me?
Yes. This is my best attempt at making a uniform for a male employee. It's sort of a trial model.
No, no, it looks great! And a present from a pretty lass, no less! I'll take it with pride!



Hey, hey! Not bad at all!
It looks great on you. It matches your hairstyle, too. A perfect fit!
What's this strange warmth? Love, perhaps? Wearing this, I can feel yer warm feelin's of affection...
You can feel the love?
Yeah, it's filled with it! This handiwork is second ta none!



...Ah, er, yer father...made this...?
Tell him that we could feel the love.




Skit: Perfect for the Old Man
Wow, that looks surprisingly good on you, old man.
I'm surprised you're surprised! Of course it looks great!
Yeah, that sort of messy look suits you pretty well.
Well, I didn't expect a naive young lady like yerself ta understand an adult's subtle grace.
Why would I wanna understand that?!
So that's an adult's subtle grace, huh...?
Mmm...?
I feel like it's boosting your natural sketchiness more and more...
Oh, that I understand.
No no no...


In total, including cutscenes and skits, all of this probably takes around 90 minutes to two hours. Half an hour of that just for Raven.

Once you've cleared all characters, another scene triggers:




Come on, ya don't need ta thank us. We got paid for it, and we even got nice new uniforms. ♥
You sure are a sucker for pretty girls, old man.
I wonder if all this work we've done would have made the Don happy...
Of course it would have. I'm sure that he would be glad that we're all helping out.
I'll bet he's looking down on us all from somewhere with a big, fat grin on his face.



Yeah, I guess not. This type of work just doesn't suit me.
Hey, you never know. You might turn out to be a pretty good waiter.
Just once, I'd like to see what Yuri looks like waiting tables...



Too bad. I'll bet you'd be pretty popular. Not every tavern can claim to have such a stubborn waiter on their staff.
"What the hell can I get you?"
"Don't order that! It's horrible!"
"Eat this, you idiot!"
"I don't need your money! Go home!"
Yeah, I think he'd be a hit.



Am I really like that?
You'd be surprised.
...I think I'll leave the waiter stuff to you guys.


Phew.

While we're dealing with costumes, let's go finish up the hot springs. 360-wise anyway.


For this, we need everyone in their hot spring costumes.





We're all so fond of them! ♥
All I've got is this stupid towel...
I wasn't too crazy about the loincloth I've got on, but I'm startin' ta get used ta it. Besides, boy, the fewer clothes on yer back, the faster ya can jump inta the bath! That's a pretty nice perk.
So, will you be visiting our hot springs today? Your free pass entitles you to any of our services...even your own reserved bath, if you'd like.
We've come all the way out here... Why not?
All right, then us girls will go in first again, okay?



B-b-but that means...!
The baths are pretty big. We could go to separate ends of the area, and it'd be like we had our own baths. It'd be no big deal.
Isn't that right, Raven?
R-right, Yuri... I mean, I don't really mind either way, of course...
Something's fishy about this...
No, I trust Yuri. I don't think we need to worry.
Yes. Let's just stop fretting about it and all go in together!
Go right on in! Enjoy your visit! But might I recommend waiting until after sunset and going in then? I assure you, the nighttime atmosphere is not to be missed!
Ah, good idea. Let's do that.




We've still got a lot of big problems ahead of us...but I guess we can forget about them, for now.



When you're so busy, it's easy to forget to just slow down and relax.
Oh, you ladies are here too? You were so quiet... I had no idea.
What do you mean? You mean you would've come over to spy on us if you had known?
Huh? Why would I go all the way over there ta see a bunch of flat-chested little girls?



Get your butt over here right now or it's fireball time!



Like I'd wanna see your wrinkly old geezer bits!



What? Bring it on, old man!



What? You all haven't changed yet? The girls are all out of the bath and done changing.
The girls are done, eh... All of us have finished changing, too!
Then we don't need to be talking through a partition, do we?
Right, we're already out... Aaaaachooo!!



Why are you the only one still in a towel...?




How long are you going to stay dressed like that?
I was in a hurry when I got out from the bath this morning... All of you are still in your bath uniforms!
Yeah, but this is formal attire compared to what you're wearing...
S-stop staring at me like that... It's making me nervous! Come on, let's just go!


This also triggers a skit, which confuses me a bit, since it seems the skit would fit better after the scenes where you first get the hot spring costumes.


Skit: Hot Springs are Nyice / Baldurdash
We really worked our butts off in there!
I can't believe how much Estelle got into character!
You're one to talk, Rita. You were loving it! Checking yourself out in the mirror over and over again... You know you liked that outfit.
Sh-shut up!
I-I don't know what you're talking about!
Yer kinda cute when yer embarrassed!
Ha!
Gahack, gugh...
It felt nice to relax in the outdoor baths after working up a nice sweat doing hard work.
I love this kind of lifestyle.
It's so fun that we can all relax together in a nice outdoor hot spring!
G-gahack... Y-yes... Outdoor s-springs are...nyice...
Nyice?


It feels like something got lost in translation at the end there. Oh well.

I think we'll wrap this up for now, there's only so much annoying stuff and Japan we can take at once. And the game is usually pretty good about it, too!